Former friends, present friends and future friends of Sneaky Dragon! Welcome to yet another links post full of all kinds of video goodness and quality badness (if there is a theme to these links that might be it). Ian has done his job and found all these tasty morsels and posted them on our Facebook page, and now it’s my turn. (I editorialize for free.)
We were joined on the show this week by Patrick Sauriol, who runs a website called Corona Coming Attractions, which is a movie insider fan site that he started in the mid-nineties. (Mid-nineties! I don’t even think I had email then!) Anyway, with Patrick on the show it made sense that we’d talk about movies. That didn’t mean that we’d talk about good ones!
Oh, Alien 3, what a colossal disappointment you were, you utter failure of a movie. For me, Alien 3 was one of the first movies that disappointed me because of what wasn’t on the screen. I’d read a huge article in some magazine detailing the long, torturous process of making the film and the expectations that grew from reading that article were dashed so completely by none of the interesting ideas in the early scripts making it into the movie. Also, David Fincher.
We talked about one of Ian’s movie obsessions: Cars. And we also talked about Cars II. (His other movie obsession is Highlander II.)
Ian wonders where all the humans of this world have gone, but if you look at this trailer, there are no door knobs or other remnants of a human world. It does seem strange that a “cars world” would have Italian villas, but we have Italian villas and the “cars world” is essentially our world – only with cars. The really interesting thing to learn from this trailer is that there’s a CAR POPE???? (That means there was a car Christ who was crucified by the car Romans, was parked in a carport for three days and on the third day he drove out of his carport and appeared before his car followers then drove up a ramp to Heaven. It’s mind boggling!)
As I said before, Patrick started his website in the mid-nineties – just in time for the avalanche of good ideas that led directly to a stock market meltdown!
Pets.com meet the Euro! The motherfucking Euro. That seemed like a good idea, right? Anyway…
Ian likes to think of Patrick as the Bizarro Harry Knowles:
I could not contact Patrick for comment, but the above statement may be actionable.
Patrick thinks of Harry Knowles as the Bizarro Forest J. Ackerman:
The video is described as “A 1998 visit to the home of Forrest J. Ackerman, high in the haunted hills of Horrorwood, Karloffornia…” More like “Hoarderwood”. “Here is the original cat from That Darned Cat crushed under this box of monster figurines.”
Remember when you heard they were making Alan Moore’s The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen into a movie and you were all, like, wow, cool? And then you saw it?
If there was one aspect of the original comic book that they got right, please email me at david@sneakydragon.com or not. Actually not, don’t bother. I’m okay. Let’s just put it behind us.
Ian thinks that it would improve The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen to have this song play whenever the stupid Tom Sawyer character stupidly appears:
Which sounds like a good idea, but then you have Rush playing all through the movie. Is that an improvement, Ian? Well, if it drowns out the dialogue, I guess it is an improvement.
Okay, Rush. I’m probably never going to have the chance to post this song here so I’m going for it. Prog-rock in all its goofy glory!
Yes, “There is unrest in the forest/There is trouble with the trees/For the maples want more sunlight/And the oaks ignore their pleas” But that’s not all. “There is trouble in the forest/And the creatures all have fled/As the maples scream ‘Oppression!’/And the oaks just shake their heads” Dude, if the trees can’t get along, what hope is there for us??? But wait! “So the maples formed a union/And demanded equal rights/’The oaks are just too greedy/We will make them give us light’/Now there’s no more oak oppression/For they passed a noble law/And the trees are all kept equal/By hatchet, axe and saw.” Well, that’s…good? We can pass a noble law too and keep ourselves equal with hatchet, axe and saw! Yay!
This is Ian’s favourite Pixar film. I think it’s okay.
In no way is it better than this film, which is by the same director:
Or Monsters Inc. Not least for the great “Put that thing back where it came from, or so help me!” company play from the DVD:
But then Ian’s favourite TV channel is probably the Food Network.
I was SO looking forward to Scott Pilgrim Vs the World. Then I watched all the trailers that came out. And there were a lot of them. And they were all different with different jokes and scenes from the movie. It almost felt like I’d seen the film already. And then I saw the film and felt like I was watching a lot of it for the second time, which is really boring to me. Ian thought I might enjoy this though.
I wish that had been the only trailer because that would have been awesome. Totally awesome.
Ian and Patrick talked quite a bit about the new world of web series while I did my hair. Patrick thinks Spoiler is really good:
And he is involved in the web series Divine along with some of the folks from Supernatural:
Both of these shows seem somewhat interesting. Spoiler so far is kind of mopey though, which is a bit of a bore, and while Divine started out interestingly, that last scene was dumb. That being said I will watch at least one more episode of each because I always give a show two chances.
Here is the Queen of All Web Series, Felicia Day and her series The Guild:
Well, they were unpleasant.
Ian would like to point out that with all our Ridley Scott talk, Scott is in no way associated with Scott Towels.
Hey, didn’t that package say Scot Towels? Hmmmm. Anyway, speaking of Ridley Scott, here is a trailer for his dumb new movie:
I kid! I’m sure the movie is a hoot. Plus, face huggers. (The movie has face huggers, right? It’s not an Alien movie without face huggers! (Alien 3, Alien Resurrection.)
Let’s end with a parody of that clip and laugh our damned fool heads off:
Meh.
See you next week!