Hola, Sneakers! Welcome to Episode 504 of the podcast that offers that tiny, little bit more.
This week: table of contents; the war is all over; ye olde podcast; bodies of water; covered in balls; new ‘Busters; drilling one’s head; nude Spider-man; lost in time; the ’70s exception; popular soccer; sneaky Shakespeare; push the nudity; secret cinema; too much Ivanhoe; no wave; a cry for help; on my radio; false arrest; acting out; candy funding; anxiety doctor; catty cake; no soap; Ratzenberger trivia; more dragons; don’t explain it; GI Joe enthusiasm; pre-jack off; Orkney pride; dream parade; wiggery; it’s the same, only different; and, finally, puckin’ eh.
Question of the Week: Have you ever stolen something? And were you caught?
Sub-question of the Week: Does your town or city have a singular celebration peculiar to it?
Thanks for listening.
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Hi Ian and David,
Bless me dragons, for I have sinned. Listening to your last show and hearing you talk about stealing has woken some long-buried memories.
When I was a boy I was a right wee kleptomaniac. I started, as most British thieves did, by stealing from the pick ‘n’ mix at Woolworths. I progressed to nicking toy cars. Matchbox cars were pocket sized. It’s like they were designed for young tea-leafs like me. My proudest booty was a Starsky & Hutch Gran Torino, complete with little figures of Bay City’s finest detectives.
I stopped stealing when I was about 10 or 11. I don’t know why. I guess I just grew out of it – at least for a while. When I was a teenager I got a job in a record shop. CD’s were the brand new tech, and I wanted in. Unfortunately my wages didn’t extend to replacing all my old cassettes with CD’s. It was time for Scott the master criminal to return. I had a brilliant scam going. I opened a cheap cd, slipped a new disc under the budget one, and shrink-wrapped it closed again. Then I bought it at the end of the day, paying just the price of the cheap cd – less my staff discount of course!
This scam lasted until I got a new job. By then I was also liberating DVD’s and PlayStation games using the same system. It was great. I was always the first of my friends to get the latest CD’s, DVD’s and games, and still had enough money for more legal, but just as fun, teenage pursuits. I was never caught. To be honest, I’m kinda 50% ashamed of myself and 50% proud of coming up with such an ingenious plan.
I’m assuming you invited us to confess our sins so that you can grant us absolution. So what do I have to do? A couple of Hail Mary’s? A donation to a charity for juvenile delinquents? Or just a public apology in front of the entire Sneaky listenership? Whatever penance you wise dragons deem appropriate, I’ll gladly accept.
Thanks for all the hours of podcasting guys. It’s so comforting listening to two pals chatting about everything and nothing. Your warmth and affection for each other shines through every episode. If everyone had a friendship like you two have, I reckon the world would be a better place. I’ll be listening in on Sunday morning as usual, assuming the authorities don’t catch up with me!
Stay sneaky everyone,
Scott
Hi,
Thanks Crystal.
Maybe a John Deere themed kitchen or dining room is a bit far fetched…
And as far living in rural area, I’m living in Paris… Is it still ok?
But in fact this passion as receded since my youth. Gone the bedroom wall covered of tractor picture and my toy collection has been tucked away. I only have 2 1/16th scale replica on display in my entrance (one Deere and one Case IH). And I recently bought an International 845 1/48th replica, by sheer nostalgia, I learned to drive in one.
Dave, you didn’t know that Farmall comes from Mc Cormick Farmall tractors? Which by the way became International, short for International Harvester.
The Mc Cormick brand had been raised back from it’s ashes in the early 2000’s.
For this week question, teenage and boredom don’t mix. With a summer friend we raided my grand parents neighbor’s parcel where he had a stationary caravan.
We unscrew all the reflectors and take them, and broke one or two things in the process.
The next day my grand parents asked me if I had something to do to what has occurred to the caravan… and normally I don’t like to lie, but I lied, don’t know if I did it well or if my grand parents considered that this nefarious action was too out of character for me, but I get out of it.
A couple of times when I was little, I took a wrapped candy from the supermarket’s bulk candy display. Once my dad saw me. He didn’t say anything but grabbed another candy and held it out to me. I was so embarrassed, I never swiped anything from a store again.
In non-pandemic years, Vancouver has a 3-night fireworks festival called the Celebration of Light, currently sponsored by Honda. Some love the dazzling spectacle. Others think it’s a huge waste of money. I recommend seeing it from a friend’s deck or balcony so you don’t have to put up with the smokers, tokers, drunks and knife-carrying ruffians crammed into the waterfront beaches and parks. Over the years, I’ve seen it in person maybe four times. Now I watch it on TV, far from the madding crowd.
“If music be the food of love…” isn’t just a lyric from “The Ballad of the Sneaky Dragon Listening Party” by Chris Roberts. It’s also the opening line from Twelfth Night, the play whose title eluded Dave. It’s in my top three Shakespearean comedies along with As You Like It and A Midsummer Night’s Dream. There’s a twin mix-up as well as the girl-disguised-a-guy device so there’s lots of inappropriate wooing along with some heartfelt swooning and a good deal of hoodwinking. I recommend checking out the 1996 movie adaptation directed by Trevor Nunn starring Helena Bonham Carter, Nigel Hawthorne and Ben Kingsley.
FYI: before She’s the Man (2006) there was another high school comedy also loosely inspired by Twelfth Night called Just One of the Guys (1985). It is raunchier but so are a lot of Shakespeare’s plays.) Another teen update is O (2001) – an adaptation of Othello set in a private prep school with Mekhi Phifer as a star basketball player, Julia Stiles as his girlfriend, and Josh Harnett as the jealous teammate out to ruin him.
Lousy Shakespeare, ripping me off again… 🙁
Back in the years of the Laserdisc craze I was buying those huge boxed sets for Star Wars, The Wizard of Oz and Toy Story. There was one laserdisc I couldn’t buy, it was the “THX Wow!” Demo disc that those huge high-end stereo and TV superstores would play to show off their sound systems. The “THX Wow!” demo was a spectacle of the best visuals and audio from all the Lucasfilm movies, edited together into an eight minute montage specifically designed to show customers how badass the THX sound system was. Incredible Universe was the stereo and TV superstore where they continually played this disc, so I asked a sales guy there about buying one from him. For $20 he made me a copy of the eight minute demo to VHS tape but I was still after the disc for the rest of the content on it. I was told that customers received the demo laserdisc if you purchased a THX sound system which at least $2000.00 at the time, so that wasn’t an option. Then I called Lucasfilm’s THX customer service and talked to a woman who told me on the phone she was looking at a huge stack of the demo discs but they were not for sale. I asked her if there was any way I could get one of these discs and she said, “I’m sorry, you’ll just have to steal one if you want it that bad.”
That stuck in my head for about a year until I was at Foley’s, one of the department stores at my local mall. I saw that Foley’s was liquidating their electronics department, everything was on clearance and being sold as-is. Then I saw it, on top of a stereo console without it’s sleeve was the “THX Wow!” Demo laserdisc. I waited until the sales guy went into the back and without thinking twice, I just took the disc and headed straight to the exit and to my car. It wasn’t for sale so there was nothing to trip the security alarms and I got away with the laserdisc scott free. That disc was the only item I’ve ever stolen but I only rationalized it by the fact that it couldn’t be sold and that Foley’s would have probably just thrown it out anyway. You can watch the demo on YouTube but it’s much better in it’s over-the-top THX surround system glory, the way I originally saw it.
https://youtu.be/mSNbEMvnNdc
Ed, your story plays out like a George Lucas-ian adventure: roguish thief saves a rare treasure from certain destruction. (Or a landfill.) I was surprised to see clips of Willow in the demo. I enjoyed the movie as there weren’t a lot of high fantasy flicks being made back then but it was nowhere near as popular as the Star Wars and Indiana Jones films. But hey, apparently Disney+ has greenlit a Willow sequel TV series for next year. Mining our nostalgia for gold has become quite the trend.
I think my life is a Lucas-ian adventure! All I need is a whip and an Egg MacGuffin…
Isn’t it strange to see Willow?! I’d forgotten Ron Howard directed it too. I wasn’t a huge fan but I am curious as to what Disney+ has in mind for the return!
Hey! I’m back! And I’ll bet Ian just made some comment about me being the last post here…
I live North of Dallas in the town of McKinney and other than the “Tour of Homes” they have in the older downtown area during the Holidays, there’s really nothing notable. I have a very close friend and mentor who lives in the older part of McKinney in a 130 year-old home and he used to participate in the “Tour” years ago. The decorating and strangers wandering through the house got to be a bit much, so he and his family opted out of the event. His home is still an eclectic feast of all sorts of crazy furnishings and stuff on the wall, like his wife’s huge doll collection, a working pinball machine in the kitchen and a dentist’s chair from the 1920’s….to name a few things.
The town I grew up in, and I’ve mentioned it before, is Mesquite, Texas just East of Dallas. Mesquite is known Worldwide for its famous Rodeo they have on the older edge of town. I’ve heard more than a dozen stories about how someone from Mesquite was stationed overseas in the service or vacationing in Europe only to turn on the television and see that damned Rodeo broadcast from Mesquite. I’ve never been and firmly refused any invitation to go all the years I lived there. I consider what they do to those animals barbaric and I’ve never wanted any part of it. Tying a rope to a 2000 pound steer’s balls and tugging at it while you’re on his back can hardly be called a sport. It’s any wonder why they’re so pissed off and attack the riders when they’re thrown off their backs, I’d do the same thing if some cowboys had my junk in his lasso and were tugging on it….
Hello Ian and David!
I can honestly say I have never stolen anything! Not even a stick of gum! AND Not even during my years in high school masquerading as a ruffian. I just always had the sure feeling I WOULD GET CAUGHT, so there didn’t seem a point. Kind of a rule follower, you see. Sounds kind of boring now…
As to town/city celebrations, there are several festivals in our Wilkes county. The largest in this area is called Merlefest, started by Doc Watson and named for his son Merle, which if you search online you will easily find. It’s a very large 4-day Bluegrass music celebration that happens every year, except last, at the end of April. Actually this year, because of COVID, it’s been moved to September.
We also have our Apple Festival which is a one-day event first Saturday in October which features all of the orchardists and their fabulous apples that are grown here. The streets downtown North Wilkesboro are blocked off and food carts and craft booths are all up and down. When I was president of the local beekeepers’ association, my husband and I would set up a large “bee cage” the night before in the club’s assigned spot. Next day, during the festival, I, along with members of the club, would take turns in the cage with a hive, demonstrating beekeeping basics and hive life, answering myriad questions. We sold a lot of our honey, as well. The connection to apples? Of course it’s pollination, as we all know!
That same beekeeper’s club did up a float one year for the local Christmas parade. Those of us on the float dressed in our veils and beekeeper duds. I kept my smoker going, puffing and waving… Lots of fun!
And fun is important, right everyone???
By the way, my 10 year old cat Pearl passed on to kitty heaven a couple of weeks ago. I miss her so much… and I know you can understand that loss. BUT still Sneaky Dragon and the Sneaker comments have made me smile… and laugh! And helped me move on through it! Thanks, Ian and David… and ALL!
Dear Laurel,
So sorry for your loss of Pearl. It is truly heartbreaking to say goodbye to our beloved pets. Keep her memory in your heart.
Nettie